Let’s all take a moment to thank those over-paid athletes and owners for getting their heads out of their asses and making sure there is an NFL season this year. I would have survived on college football, but it would have been touch and go. If the NBA lockout never ends, I think I’ll be just fine.
It’s been four weeks since I last updated you on The Jet. He’s weighing in at over 13 lbs. now; which doesn’t sound like much until you’re trying to hold it gently while it screams and squirms with all its might. This last week he’s been very unhappy in my arms. I’m told that it’s difficult for a father to build a bond with his child because the mother got a 9 month head start and is the giver of food. Trying to comfort a fussy baby is like trying to get Mizzou to develop a power running game for short yardage situations; you can’t use reason or logic because they don’t seem to understand the language and you can’t use force because you love them too much, but neither of you are going to make it unless you get your point across.
Without further ado, I present my suggestions for major (and minor) rule changes for sports to make them more enjoyable (or less frustrating) for everyone.
First, baseball; the sport that needs the most help. Baseball is steeped in tradition and respect for the rules of the game is the number one rule of the game. Kind of like the first rule of Fight Club is you don’t talk about Fight Club.
- Catchers should be limited to two mound visits per inning per pitcher. If he makes a third visit he must be accompanied by the manager and a pitching change must be made.
- No warm-up pitches. That’s what the bullpen and pre-game is for. If a pitcher wants to stay loose during innings he can go to the bullpen.
- Limit the nonsense between pitches. Between pitches, after the ball is returned to the pitcher, the pitcher and the batter have 10 seconds to be set in their position. A batter is limited to 1 time out per at bat, and the pitcher/catcher have the aforementioned limit on mound visits.
- Ditch the DH. It makes for more intriguing strategy and truly exposes defensive liabilities (Billy Butler, I’m looking at you).
- Ban metal bats in high school and college games.
- Reformat the schedule so that the first part of the season is intra-league, non-division games (Yankees v. Rangers, Braves v. Giants), the second part is interleague games (limited to four 3-games series), and the final part is divisional games. Much more drama.
- Expand the playoffs to 6 teams per league. The teams will be seeded by record with no regard for division. The top two seeds receive byes. The first round is best-of-5, the rest are best-of-7. Limit each series to one travel day between games. Home field in the World Series goes to the team with best record.
- Institute instant replay and challenges. Just like in the NFL. It’s only used to review home runs and outs (diving catches, close plays at the bases). Managers have 2 challenges, and an umpire in the booth will review all plays in the ninth inning. Oh, and develop a “K-Zone”-like electronic, standardized balls-and-strikes system. A ball catching the strike zone will signal a buzzer in the umpire’s hand.
Next, basketball:
- First, we need to standardize the game across all levels (including the women’s game):
- The 3-point line will be 23 feet away from the basket, shorter than the NBA, but longer than the others.
- The lane will be 16’ by 19’ like in the NBA.
- The shot clock will be 24 seconds.
- FIBA goaltending rules will be thrown in the ocean; touch the ball on the way down, it’s goaltending.
- You have 8 seconds to get across half-court, it encourages pressing (especially in the women’s game) and imagine how many more turnovers the Tigers would have forced.
- All jump-balls will actually be jumped. No more alternating possession in college.
- All games will be made up of four 12-minute quarters.
- Inbounds after timeouts will occur where the ball went dead. No more advancing to half-court for the NBA.
- Speaking of timeouts, each team will have 5 per half. Two can be used only by players on the court only during live ball situations, and three can be used only by coaches only during dead ball situations. No more coaches calling timeout to reset the offense.
- The NCAA Tournament will expand to 96 teams and will include each conference’s regular season and tournament champions (also, the Ivy League has to play a conference tourney). The teams will be seeded regardless of conference or location 1-96, based on an average of their rankings in four polls (AP, ESPN, RPI, and Strength of Schedule). Seeds 1-32 will receive first-round byes. Seeds 33-96 will play in the first round (#33 vs. #96, #34 vs. #95, etc.) and then be re-seeded so that the lowest seeded winner will play the #1 team and so on. Teams will be reseeded after each round. In order to accommodate travel and practice time there will be 3 days between games for each round.
- NBA/WNBA playoffs will be seeded regardless of conference. It’s appalling that a 46-win Western conference team misses the playoffs when a 35-win Eastern conference team is a 6-seed.
Now, Professional football:
- I kind of like the new overtime rules, but I prefer the college ones. My tweak would be alternating possessions from the 35-yard line. Also, no field goals after the second OT and no 1-point PATs after the third OT.
- Widen the hash marks to that of the college game.
- Increase rosters to 60 players, a practice squad of 10, and game-day suit-ups to 55. It will create more opportunity for fringe players and decrease a few tough coaching decisions in late August.
- Decrease the play clock to 35 seconds.
- No more “icing the kicker” timeouts. The opposing team has until the offensive line is in position to call a timeout and it must be made by a player on the field, not the coach, 40 yards away.
- Change celebration penalties. Allow 20 seconds of celebration after touchdowns that can only be penalized for obscene gestures, taunting, and helmet removal. Any celebration other than clapping, high-fiving, hugging, and helmet- or butt-slapping after the time limit will be 15 yards on to the kick-off (unless the scoring team goes for two, then the defense can opt to have the penalty assessed on the conversion attempt). Any celebration other than the aforementioned exceptions on a non-TD play will be penalized 15 yards.
- To make touchdowns fair for rushers and receivers, in order to score a player must maintain possession of the ball after crossing the plane until he is down or forward progress is stopped
- Seed playoff teams based on record and conference and reseed after each round. No team may make the playoffs without an 8-8 record or better (no more 7-9 Seahawks hosting a playoff game).
College football:
- Use the same overtime rules as the pros.
- Defensive pass interference will be a spot foul, like in the NFL.
- Also like the NFL, a ball-carrier will be down when he is tackled or forced to the ground and his knee touches.
- Ditch the BCS, realign conferences based on my alignment (previous blog), and institute a 16-team playoff with the 10 conference champs and 6 highest ranked (in my four-rankings-averaged ranks) non-champs.
Soccer:
- To aid in improved officiating, add 3 officials to each contest. Keep the two sideline judges and add two judges behind each goal. The behind-goal judges will help with scoring plays, fouls in the box (on corner kicks, specifically), and calling the goalie infractions on penalty kicks. Also, add a second on-field referee, ideally so that one can be in front of the action and the other behind it.
- No offside penalty inside the 18-yard box.
- Treat penalties like hockey. How awesome would a 2-minute power play be?
- Also, penalize flopping… somehow.
I have no real desire to tweak hockey, NASCAR, MMA, or boxing. I’m not super knowledgeable about those sports, nor do I watch enough of them to be bother by their shortcomings.
