NFL Week 12 Picks

- Steelers over Bengals... I saw a graphic on ESPN about how the Bengals are 1-1-1 since their loss to the Steelers in week 7. If that's the best thing going for you, maybe you shouldn't announce it to the world.
- Browns over Texans... Remember when Notre Dame was good? Remember who their quarterback was? Remember how much hype Brady Quinn got? I hope he remembers, because it's "Welcome to the NFL" time.
- Bills over Chiefs... Someone please get Herm Edwards and Carl Peterson out of there. It's one thing to be in the middle of a "3-year rebuilding process;" it's another thing to be in the middle of the worst stretch in franchise history.
- Patriots over Dolphins... Perfect example of how hard it is to beat someone twice in the same season, especially the way New England cheats.
- Titans over Jets... I hear the Jets will be wearing their throwback New York Titans uniforms. Anything to make you feel successful, I guess.
- Ravens over Eagles... I'm pretty sure Donovan McNabb's alma mater, Syracuse, could've not tied the Bengals last week (win or lose... either one could have been better).
- Cowboys over 49ers... Since she already did that remake of "These Boots are Made for Walkin'", would it be to much of a stretch to ask Jessica Simpson to redo "My Boyfriend's Back"? If she can read the lines.
- Buccaneers over Lions... Picking the Lions is like trying to pick-up that extraordinarily drunk girl at the bar. It's soooo tempting and easy to be like "Maybe just this one time," but everyone knows that no good can come of it.
- Vikings over Jaguars... Where did the Jaguars go this year? Aren't they a playoff team? They've been so off-the-radar, I didn't even bother to look to see who Adrian Peterson was going to run all over this week.
- Bears over Rams... Jim Hasslett to himself this week: "Maybe if I had another natural disaster wreck the town I'm coaching in so everyone will feel sorry for us and we can rally together and make the playoffs." Well, Jim, everyone already does feel sorry for the Rams. Their offense is the real natural disaster.
- Broncos over Raiders... Only time I ever root for the Broncos.
- Panthers over Falcons... The Falcons have been so good to me this year. Only twice have they not done what I've asked, and one of those times was in week 1 when they started the train wreck that is the 2008 Detroit Lions.
- Giants over Cardinals... Note to the Cardinals: If you don't win this game, making the playoffs means nothing other than you were the least-crappy team in the NFC West.
- Redskins over Seahawks... Speaking of crappy NFC West teams, the 2008 Seattle Seahawks!! Hey, at least the Apple Cup is this weekend. Wait, Washington and Washington State are a combined 1-20?? Oh damn. I'm sorry.
- Colts over Chargers... That old menacing creature in the dark back there? Yea, that's the Colts. They ain't done yet.
- Packers over the Saints... In order to be called a "division leader" shouldn't you need to have won more games than you've lost and not be tied with 2 other teams?

Last Week: 12-3-1
Season: 105-54-1